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miss_jesalyn
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"Ex-Boyfriend" E-mail Virus
I recieved yet another e-mail from my crazy ex boyfriend. His mission (in lines) was to tell me that "his" friend doesn't want to hang out with me and she was freaked out when I asked if she wanted to sometime. However, (in between the lines) he was really saying that he is still begging for my attention and he wants me to call him--considering he ended with saying something like, "if you change your mind, here's my number...".
Well I confronted "his" friend about this and she apparentally has no clue what he was talking about since she claimed she never said a thing to him about it; quite frankly, she thought it was awful nice of me to ask her to get together sometime and Christ calls us Christians to befriend others like I did. (That's why I did it.) Anyway, what's sad is that she told me why he must have done it before it dawned on me...He's been wanting my attention, because he hasn't gotten one bit of it in so long. She was shocked to know that he did that behind her back. You see, I believe her and can believe it, because I had liked her when I first heard of her. She's not your typical girl. She's a godly young woman, like myself, who strives to become better for Christ and for people. My ex boyfriend, however, is and has been a psycho maniac since we started dating the FIRST time we dated. Don't ask me why I dated him the second time...it's the same excuse most girls date an ex: "I thought he really did change." He never did and never will unless he lives for Christ first.
His e-mails are like a virus...I get one, get aggravated, delete it, then get another one when I thought they were long-gone.
Thanks for being my punching bag.
Current Location: |
In my room |
Current Mood: |
aggravated |
Current Music: |
FIGHTER -Christina Aguilera | |
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How to Be Hot
Posted by Gabrielle Reece on Tue, Aug 01, 2006, 10:39 am PDT Post a Comment I've tried esoteric and philosophical ways to get you to eat better and encourage you to do some form of consistent exercise. I give. In this entry, I'm not going to talk about how "healthy it is for you" or "how good it makes you feel." Forget it. You want to look your best, be thin, and have nice skin and hair? Well then, I'm going to list some things that cover the bases. I mean, why mask it in all this heady dialogue? I should just write my blog entries and title them "You wanna look hot?" You all are probably like, "Thank God, just let's get down to it." I will oblige. Eat Real Food: Avoid fast food and frozen stuff that you microwave. Try your best to eat whole food that doesn't have a long shelf life. Watch your portion sizes: Eat three small meals (don't skip on breakfast) and a couple of healthy snacks. A bagel is not a snack. Try something like a turkey and cheese roll up. Easy. You take the piece of meat and slice of cheese and roll them up together. Voila. Protein and fat. Functional and satisfying. Drink Water: You want that skin to glow? Skip the flavored drinks and stick to the H2O. Boring? Add a lemon or a splash of your favorite juice. It's just a habit. Sweat 4 days a week minimum (I don't mean by sunbathing either). I'm not going to tell you what kind of exercise to do-I'm just saying sweat 30-45 minutes per day, 4 days a week if you want to have a flat tummy and toned butt. I didn't even mention it giving you clarity or more energy. Just a better butt and tummy. Keep Stress to a Minimum: Back to the flat tummy. Wanna get those washboard abs? Chill out. Stress contributes to the body holding on to fat. It's not about the quality of your life or healthy living, it's just about giving yourself the best chance possible for being thin, so relax on the reactions. Do Resistance Training: Twice a week, do some resistance training. This could count as one of your 4 sweat days, but if you want to get that hard hot body, then you have to do some resistance training. Stretch or Do Yoga: Keep that body pliable. It helps avoid injury, and if that's not motivation enough, the breathing is helpful in staying young looking. Oxygen. Find Some Happiness, Laugh and Smile Regularly: This is connected to what I wrote about stress. Happiness keeps your thighs thin. Go to the Restroom Regularly: This is a big deal. A lot of people have issues with this. A good diet and water will help you keep things moving. Going to the bathroom is especially good for flattening the lower ab area. Not to mention (I'm committing the ultimate sacrifice here) it will lower the number on the scale. It's been said that we walk around with 8 to 10 pounds of crap (literally) in our system. Move it on out. To recap: If you want to look your hottest, then eat well, get moving, stretch it out, calm down, drink enough water, touch your toes, control your portions (but make sure you are getting enough calories), unload the waste, and smile. I guarantee this formula will have you glowing and thin in no time. I mean after all, what other real reason is there to be healthy? I think that was pretty good for my first time. I'm thinking of writing for one of those beauty rags next
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In my room |
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lazy |
Current Music: |
Old School R&B | |
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1 Timothy
Instructions about Worship
2I urge you, first of all, to pray for all people. As you make your requests, plead for God's mercy upon them, and give thanks. 2Pray this way for kings and all others who are in authority, so that we can live in peace and quietness, in godliness and dignity. 3This is good and pleases God our Savior, 4for he wants everyone to be saved and to understand the truth. 5For there is only one God and one Mediator who can reconcile God and people. He is the man Christ Jesus. 6He gave his life to purchase freedom for everyone. This is the message that God gave to the world at the proper time. 7And I have been chosen--this is the absolute truth--as a preacher and apostle to teach the Gentiles about faith and truth. 8So wherever you assemble, I want men to pray with holy hands lifted up to God, free from anger and controversy. 9And I want women to be modest in their appearance. They should wear decent and approciate clothing and not draw attention to themselves by the way they fix their hair or by wearing gold or pearls or expensive clothes. 10For women make themselves attractive by the good things they do. 11Women shoudl listen and learn quietly and submissively. 12I do not let women teach men or have authority over them. Let them listen quietly. 13For God made Adam first, and afterward he made Eve. 14And it ws the woman, not Adam, who was deceived by Satan, and sin was the result. 15But women will be saved through childbearing and by continuing to live in faith, love, holiness, and modesty. |
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1 Timothy
Leaders in the Church
3It is a true saying that if someone wants to be an elder, he desires an honorable responsibility. 2For an elder must be a man whose life cannot be spoken against. He must be faithful to his wife. He must exhibit self-control, live wisely, and have a good reputation. He must enjoy having guests in his home and must be able to teach. 3He must be not be a heavy drinker or be violent. He must not be gentle, peace loving, and not one who loves money. 4He must manage his own family well, with children who respect and obey him. 5For if a man cannot manage his own household, how can he take care of God's church? 6An elder must not be a new Christian, because he might be proud of being chosen so soon, and the Devil will use that pride to make him fall. 7Also, people outside the church must speak well of him so that he will not fall into the Devil's trap and be disgraced. 8In the same way, deacons must be people who are respected and have integrity. They must not be heavy drinkers and must not be greedy for money. 9They must be committed to the revealed truths of the Christian faith and must live with a clear conscience. 10Before they are appointed as deacons, they should be given other responsibilities in the church as a test of their character and ability. If they do well, then they may serve as deacons. 11In the same way, their wives must be respected and must not speak evil of others. They must exercise self-control and be faithful in everything they do. 12A deacon must be faithful to his wife, and he must manage his children and household well. 13Those who do well as deacons will be rewarded with respect from others and will have increased confidence in their faith in Christ Jesus. |
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Proverbs
A Wife of Noble Character
10Who can find a virtuous and capable wife? She is worth more than precious rubies. 11Her husband can trust her, and she will greatly enrich his life. 12She will not hinder him but help him all her life. 13She finds wool and flax and busily spins it. 14She is like a merchant's ship; she brings her food from afar. 15She gets up before dawn to prepare breakfast for her household and plan the day's work for her servant girls. 16She goes out to inspect a field and buygs it; with her earnings she plants a vineyard. 17She is energetic and strong, a hard worker. 18She watches for bargains; her lights burn late into the night. 19Her hands are busy spinning thread, her fingers twisting fiber. 20She extends a helping hand to the poor and opens her arms to the needy. 21She has no fear of winter for her household because all of them have warm clothes. 22She quilts her own bedspreads. She dresses like royalty in gowns of finest cloth. 23Her husband is well known, for he sits in the council meeting with the other civic leaders. 24She makes belted linen garments and sashes to sell to the merchants. 25She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs with no fear of the future. 26When she speaks, her words are wise, and kindness is the rule when she gives instructions. 27She carefully watches all that goes on in her household and does not have to bear the consequences of laziness. 28Her children stand and bless her. Her husband praises her. 29"There are many virtuous and capable women in the world, but you surpass them all!" 30Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last; but a woman who fears the LORD will be greatly praised. 31Reward her for all she has done. Let her deeds publicly declare her praise. |
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Mark 12:25
But when you are praying, first forgive anyone you are holding a grudge against, so that your Father in heaven will forgive your sins, too." |
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Romans 8 The Future Glory
18Yet what we suffer now is nothing compared to the glory he will give us later. 19For all creation is waiting eagerly for that future day when God will reveal who his children really are. 20 Against its will, everything on earth was subjected to God's curse. 21All creation aniticipates the day when it will join God's children in glorious freedom from death and decay. 22 For we know that all creation has been groaning as in the pains of childbirth right up to the present time. 23And even we Christians, although we have the Holy Spirit within us as a foretaster of future glory, also groan to be released from pain and suffering. We, too, wait anxiously for that day when God will give us our full rights a his children, including the new bodies he has promised us. 24 Now that we are saved, we eagerly look forward to this freedom. For if you already have something, you don't need to hope for it. 25 But if we look forward to something we don't have yet, we must wait patiently and confidently. 26And the Holy Spirit helps us in our distress. For we don't even know what we should pray for, nor how we should pray. But the Holy Spirit prays for us with groanings that cannot be expressed in words. 27And the Father who knows all hearts know what the Spirit pleads for us believers in harmony with God's own will. 28AND WE KNOW THAT GOD CAUSES EVERYTHING TO WORK TOGETHER FOR THE GOOD OF THOSE WHO LOVE GOD AND ARE CALLED ACCORDING TO HIS PURPOSE FOR THEM. 29For God knew his people in advance, and he chose them to become like his Son, so that his Son would be the firstborn, with many brothers and sisters. 30And having chosen them, he called them to come to him. And he gave them right standing with himself, and he promised them his glory.
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rejected |
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eleven, LFCC's band | |
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Woo-Hoo! I'm sitting up in Cafe' Mia in Birkdale with Michael. Last night he and I, along with Konata, went to Staples to pick me up a wireless card so I can get internet more often and stop using others' computers, especially when I have my own computer that I got for last year's Christmas. It's about time, right? Anyway, I'm sipping on this amazing chocolate milkshake with whip cream and "working". I have been busy with little things, though. I just transferred money from my "big" checking account into my "small" checking account to pay for my phone bill. I have to pick up my VBS teaching packet from this lady today because I wasn't needed until the week before VBS. So I must read through the whole packet and come to the main lady for any questions, decorate my classroom and posterboard, and find things to use as examples in my lesson plans all within these next few days. Today is Wednesay around 2 and VBS for LNBC starts Sunday night. Not to mention that I am teaching Pre-K. Oh wait, also not to mention I have to work ALL DAY tomorrow, I'm getting my hair fixed (colored the "right" color) and Ashley's birthday dinner is that night, and working Saturday night. Sunday I'll be going to LFC then I have that afternoon before starting VBS at LNBC. Well, thy shall not stressth. Right? Jesus Christ is helping this sister out, not punishing her. I need to take the positive out of this and realize teaching these kids at the last minute is preparing me for my future. At least I'm teaching, right? I'm so excited about this the more I think about it. Well I need to actually do something about it now, though. I better get off and go get started. Just wanted to write about what's been going on with me at this second. Real fast, Michael bought his friend, Khoa, a house towards Concord and I'm thrilled, because Michael is thrilled. They will be moving in within a few weeks. That's all I have been hearing from him lately. He is also trying to sell two other people houses. His job situation as a Real Estate Agent is coming along just fine. I'm so proud of him. (Right now I'm not because he won't stop pulling his hair out...) Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. With love, Jesalyn
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Cafe' Mia |
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curious |
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cafe music..haha | |
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Learning makes me realize how much I don't have a lot of knowledge, because there is always so much more to learn. I did go to Centri-Kid with LNBC kids and it was a blast. They taught me so much about kids today and it opened my eyes at how willing they are about new things in life. Spending quality time with the girls will stay in my heart as a remembrance of how important it is for someone like me to live a life knowing I have others watching me and learning from me. I always think about the ones I learn from but never really thought about the ones that learn from me. After a week of a lot of both, it excited me in so many ways. The Lord blessed me in so many ways that week and there on out, I'm so thrilled to be this special. I've made a few personal changed in my life that may hinder anyone coming closer to God by looking into my life. I hope and pray, with God's help, I can continue to live out the new changes. And I'm not missing out; I'd be missing out if I wasn't living out the way Christ would want me to live. Since I've been back things have been awkward yet nice. I finally caught up on time with Michael. I didn't work a whole lot, which after being without it for a week that isn't exactly a great thing. I've realized, though, since I've returned that the Lord has settled upon my heart because I know now that stressing out is not worth it in this life. I do feel I have a few reasons to but instead of wasteing time in stressing I'm going to observe my options and see what I can do to change it to where I don't need to stress. I've thought about applying for a daycare job to get a few hours in a week on top of my regular child-care. I think it would do me some use, especially in the fall while I'm in school. I'm trying not to think about school quite yet because that alone can stress me out. I don't know what to expect since I'm no longer taking regular courses; it's all the big stuff that I need in teaching. It al sounds fun, don't get me wrong, but it's a new change. I'll be fine, I know, and hopefully with my trying really hard I'll not just pass but I'll make A's and B's. Haha. Starting now C is a bad grade. I won't take that nor less, even though a D is passing at a community college. I proved last semester that I can do it. This girl ain't stopping. :)
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hungry |
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David Crowder Band | |
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There is little doubt that The Da Vince Code has hit a cultural nerve. Not only has it been on the best seller list in the USA for several years, it has also bee adapted into a major film. Its combination of mystery, history, conspiracy and the use of romantic locations and figures has made it a very popular piece of non-fiction.
So where does the controversy come from? What has made it so divisive is the author's claim that the backdrop to the novel is rooted in historical fact. Dan Brown made such claims on national morning television in November 2003 and they are stated in his book in the opening page. In fact, in his interview he claimed that he had meticulously researched the topic and had became a believer in what he wrote. Such claims include: [1] Jesus Christ was married to Mary Magdalene, [2] the four gospels (Matthew, Mark Luke and John) were chosen from among eighty others that existed in the fourth century because they presented a divine Jesus, and [3] the divinity of Jesus himself became the accepted view by a very close vote at the council of Nicea in AD 325.
The key to the novel's story line is that many in the early church supposely knew that Jesus was married-and to protect his divinity they kept it a secret-even to the point of murder. As fiction, this makes an intriguing story, but as a historical "skeleton-in-the-closet," it simply falls apart.
PROBLEM 1: Was Jesus Married? Basic to the story line is the claim that Jesus Christ was married to Mary Magdalene and that many people in the early church knew it (as well as people later on like Leonardo Da Vinci). The evidence for this claim comes from two non-biblical gospels, the Gospel of Mary Magdalene and The Gospel of Philip. Both contain remarks that Jesus had a special relationship to Mary or that he loved her more than any of the twelve. In addition, there is reference to a text where Jesus is said to kiss Mary on the lips. So the inference is, that if he kissed her in public, he must have been her husband.
Now the facts are these. First, almost all modern scholars, both liberal and conservative, question whether these extra bibical gospels contain anything of value in terms of the historical Jesus. However, even if they did, the texts noted do not actually affirm that Jesus was married. In fact, the famous "kiss-on-the-lips" text actually has a blank in the original manuscript right at the point where it describes where Mary was kissed. So it could be the lips or te cheek, which would simply refer to a kiss of fellowship. More than this, we have volumes of texts about Jesus from the first five centuries. In all of these materials not a single text describes Jesus as married. Nor does the Bible. This fact alone is enough to collapse the whole novel...but let's go on.
PROBLEM 2: When Were The Gospels Accepted? The novel also claims that the four gospels were chosen to be a part of the Bible later than we now claim-because they described a divine Jesus-as opposed to other gospels that had a more "human" Jesus. Once again we are at a place where liberal and conservative scholars agree. The study of what is called the canon (or the recognition of the books that comprise the New Testament) is a complex area when it comes to the compilation of the entire New Testament. Athanasius in AD 367 is the first figure we have who lists the 27 books of the New Testament as we have them today. It may be that Dan Brown rested his view on this fact, although he never mentions it. However, what this does not take into account is that the books that were under discussion in the third and fourth centuries were several epistles and Revelation, books like 2 Peter, Jude, 2 and 3 John, not any of the gospels.
Scholars of the canon agree that by the end of the second century the four-fold gospel was recognized as authoritative. This is a full 125 years before Constantine and the Nicean Council came on the scene to do the defining work for orthodoxy according to the novel. The idea that the gospels emerged as a reflection of orthodoxy about the time of the fourth century is just bad history.
PROBLEM 3: Was Jesus' Divinity Decided by a "Close Vote" in the Fourth Century? Brown claims that the Council of Nicea in AD 325 decided, by a narrow margin and for political purposes, to declare for the first time that Jesus was the Son of God. History shows that this is just not true. What we know about the Council is this. It did gather, not to declare the divinity of Jesus, but to decide how Jesus was divine. Was he the first created being (according to Arius) or was he eternally related to God as his Son (as stated in the Nicene Creed)? Jesus as the Son of God was always a core belief of the earliest church.
Constantine called this council together because he wanted peace and unity, which The Creed merely served to put into precise philosophical and theological language what had been expressed in more general terms for years. The vote at Nicea, rather than establishing the church's beliefs, affirmed and officially recognized what was already the church's dominant view. The council had about 216 bishops representing most of Christendom in attendance, but only two out of the entire group refused to accept this affirmation of the Christian faith. Hardly a close decision. Brown's claim, then, is false here as well.
OTHER PROBLEMS. There is a host of other problems with the "historical backdrop" of the novel. 1) The idea that Mary was an "apostle to the apostles" misrepresents Hippolytus, a church father of the later second century. 2) The other "gospels" that the novel claims show a human Jesus, in most cases actually have a more divine Jesus than the biblical gospels (i.e. he was only divine, not both man and God). 3) Leonardo Da Vinci would never have painted a Last Supper scene and replaced one of the Twelve with a woman. Many art historians on that period agree-Dan Brown simply got his art history wrong.
WHAT TO MAKE OF IT ALL? Interest in The Da Vinci Code reflects some remarkable things about today's culture, mainly that there is a keen interest in the origins of Christianity, and there is a spiritual hunger of sorts out there. The fact that this book has put Christian history into the public square is a good thing, but readers and viewers need to be aware of what really happened. Perhaps if people truly understand who Jesus Christ really is and explore his claims for themselves, they will find the real clode that opens up the way to life.
THE JESUS CODE We have all been "programmed" from birth with an internal code that is not completely adequate. Its basic failure is that it cannot effectively respond to God in a personal way (a result of what theologians and teh Bible call "sin"). However, God in his goodness does not leave the solution of our scrambled code to us, nor does he make coming to know him difficult.
God sent his Son into the world as a human being who could sympathize with us and represent us before his holy Father. In addition, as an expression of God's love and as a gift, He accepts Jesus' death and sacrifice in payment for our sin and guilt. This opens the way to an unbroken relationship with God that lasts forever, where sin is forgiven and God's Spirit lives in us so we can enjoy him.
Both in this life and in the life to come, a new, real, eternal code is placed within us the moment we believe in Christ and accept his work on our behalf. Scripture says the purpose of this new life is to know the one true God and his Son (John 17:3). Those who respond in faith to the offer of this gift are its only recipients (Ephesians 2:8-10).
God does not force himself upon us. So if you are interested in God replacing the scrambled code you know isn't working...turn to him with a sincere faith in his Son. That is something worth believing.
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hungry |
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David Crowder Band | |
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I guess next week I will be a leader in two ways: in children's eyes and in God's eyes. So in saying that, I'm extremely nervous. I can sit here and say a million times that I do not feel that I am ready to do those two together, but if that were the case, I would never be ready to do those two together. The Lord has called me to do this, not because he believes I am ready to take on this challenge. He does it to show me that it's not about being ready; it's about doing what He would want us as His children to do. I never would want to be a leader to children without Christ, and I can't help but to see my gift from Christ to live for him through children. To me the two combine make sense. I can't believe I'm about to say something out of the Bible and not being able to quote it, however, it does say somewhere that we as His children should love him like we are children. This could be great for me to ask my father about it, but I believe the purpose of that message is that children love with all that they have without no worries and no regrets. People who say they do not like children, it's only because they have it so easy. Are they jealous? I would say. I mean, hey, I am at times. The problem with that, though, is that children can be so naive. They have no clue what life is truly like in this world. In a way, that could be a good thing and they can love Christ for what they only know. I don't know where I'm headed with this, but I do know that I have a lot on my shoulders for next week. I leave first thing Monday morning to be a champeron with the children of Lake Norman Baptist Church to go to Centri-Kid, a Southern Baptist camp for children, located in Spartanburg, SC. This isn't just a volunteer thing I decided to do. It's a beginning to a life that's ahead of me. And needless to say, I'm scared and excited at the same time. I have no clue where Christ is taking me from here, but I do know that Christ is taking me on this trip with these elementary school students to a godly environment, unlike anything most of them see everyday. Not only will it be a time for me to watch my actions and really choose my words wisely, it is also a time for me to wake up in the life I've been living lately. I just pray deeply that God can use me so much this upcoming week, like he's never used me before. From then on out I'd like to continue to be used by Him with whatever opportunities I get, whether it's with children, young people, or even my elders. Another blessing the Lord has blessed me with is going back to church and hoping to join a christian group. Michael and I visited a church a couple of Sundays ago, Lake Forest Church, and it was fantastic. I wrote about it in a few blogs back so I won't go into details. However, last Sunday my dearest friend of mine joined me since Michael had to work. She doesn't go to church, not because she doesn't believe in church or God but because she doesn't have anyone in her life to set that kind of example. I believe she was raised Catholic, so at least she has a little experience. Actually she went to the youth group at my father's church, Lake Norman Baptist Church, when I was in the youth. Her sister and I were close (ironically ended by how different we were becoming), and she would sometimes join us. I never took the chance to get to know her as a person at the time, probably because I was stuck in this superficial world with her sister and my boyfriend at the time. As I was living and learning life of high school, I gradually got out of that mess and took the time to get to know her and others who weren't in that superficial world that I was desperately trying to get out of. Anyway, I felt that my life in high school and even now still isn't what a godly lady that I strive to be should be and could be to be a witness for Christ. I feel that I've failed in many ways, however, I feel God is giving me and her a second chance. She loved it last Sunday, especially the worship. Since Michael has to work again this Sunday (don't get me started on that), I offered to take her again and she took that offer. I'm excited! I just pray she realizes that I'm not trying to do anything but to get her to see why I do feel that church is important in my life; because that's where me and other believers can come together in one place to talk, sing, praise and fellowship the lover of our soul, Jesus Christ. I state that to let everyone know, not just her. Wow, okay, that was a long blog. I'm glad to be able to write something worth the while, though, since I haven't been writing anything lately, especially anything that comes without thinking. That's how I know I'm writing from my heart, when it isn't from my head. Until next time . . . .
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parents' computer |
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thankful |
Current Music: |
"Let's Stay Together," Al Green | |
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The weather changed dramatically from sunny, hot weather to rainy, cool weather and it was just like that. It's a good thing I was already thinking about calling out sick today. My stomach has been off and on hurting, but overall I'm feeling okay. I just worked out, so that could be part of the reason. And the other part could be the fact that I'm not letting Michael know that I'll be here when he gets off from work. He thought he was going to come over to my house to take a nap, while I'm working for a couple of hours. Won't that be a surprise! Anyway, today is my last day without a parent at the house. I'm beginning to miss my mother anyway. She'll be arriving late tonight, so I had to make sure I stay here tonight. I may talk Michael into staying over as well until she comes home or until I have to go to work in the morning. I do need to do a few house things this evening, like my laundry and getting rid of the alcohol cans and glasses that were from the other night. The other night was interesting. Not quite as fun as I had planned, but that's because it wasn't planned well anyway. That was my fault. It was so good to see a couple of girls I was friends with back in high school, though. Especially Lisa, since we did everything together in our early years of high school. High school took control of us towards the end and we didn't even see each other much. After running into her during Christmas break at Starbucks, I got her number and call her every so often. Part of me feels that she things I'm a dork after the other night, since I haven't drank in so long (and I don't drink a lot at one time anyway), so I was a bit tipsy drinking my fourth Smirnoff. Haha. She must be use to drinking liquor since she asked if we had any. See, I don't do all that. I'm not a bad girl. People just like to assume, especially knowing that my father is a pastor. Don't get me started on that. Anyway, we may have another one next week since the parents will be gone again. I guess I'm living out my high school days that I never lived in. I never partied in high school. I somewhat started as a senior but at a college that my cousin went to. After that year I haven't done much of any. I still live at home and my parents are to the point that they can just go and get out of this town all they want. Got to take an advantage of it, right? I'm sure I'll find time to write more later this week. I haven't done a whole lot, so there's not much to say. Michael and I are going to a bar tomorrow night in Charlotte to see my favorite band play: SISTER HAZEL! Woo-hoo! I'm so excited! I love them so much. |
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Today is Sunday and it's a mighty fine one I may say. Yesterday, Michael and I headed to my Aunt Darlene's house to go swimming in her pool. Michael played with Brandy, one of my aunt and uncle's foster girls while I was either laying by the pool or laying in a float in the pool. I had to relax and doing that is relaxing to me. I enjoyed it. Afterwards, Michael and I went to my old friend, Jenna's wedding. Jenna's parents grew up with mine, and my mother actually dated her father while he and my daddy were friends in high school. Till this day, we are all friends, just time and distance set us way back, especially us, the children. We've grown up, going/gone to college and a few has already gotten married. How time goes by. I miss going on family trips with them in the summertime. They were always the best. Together, we've gone to Florida, Texas, New Orleans (twice), and the last time we've all hung out was at their house in Spartanburg, SC. I just feel bad, because I told both Jenna and Leah that I would come and visit them at Clemson a while back ago, but realizing what I said later made me laugh. Yeah right am I going to Clemson for whatever reason. That is a disgrace to UNC. Duh! Ha-ha. Anyway, because we came in and Michael was exhausted from doing so much for me, he stayed the night at my house and we got up and visited Lake Forest Church in Huntersville. That's the sister-church to Mecklenburg Community Center, where Michael have been going to for years with his parents. We decided to go church-searching together and that was his choice, which after today, I enjoyed it a lot. I was quite surprised. We may check out Mosiac, in the Northlake Mall's movie theater. I read about it in the newspaper when it first started a few months ago and it interested me. The thing about that church, though, is that it is only for singles in their 20's. Well, Michael and I may you-know-what in these next few years and by the time we are "getting old" it would be time to change churches again. Michael's mother mentioned that today when we arrived at their house to go out on the lake, and she made some really great points. So it made me rethink a lot about getting hopes up for it. It's a great idea for that group that are wanting but I doubt I'd be up for it more than a little while. Well Michael and I are by far going to go back to Lake Forest, that's for sure! So yes, as I said a few sentences ago, we went out on the lake. It was so wonderful! I feel like I'm on vacation but I didn't have to leave town nor pay money. Isn't that sweet? I got a nice tan and it was nice to go spend time with Michael's parents again by getting away. I'm really glad they leave off the lake; it's something I think his parents need, especially at a time like this. Michael's mother is going through a hard time these past few years. Michael swears she's not the same lady. I do and will continue to pray for her and their family as a whole, especially for Michael. He cares so much for her, it's so incredible, however, it hurts me so much to see how hurt he is about it all. Like he said a few nights ago, we are One; when I hurt he hurts, and when he hurts I hurt. Isn't that the truth? I've noticed that a lot lately about us. It's something new I'm trying to get use to. I've never been in this situation before, knowing that no matter what I'm not giving up. Well, everyone is in from fishing, since it was pouring down raining on them. Ha-ha. So I better go. |
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I'm reading the book, Rekindled, by Tamera Alexander that I got from Lifeway Christian Bookstore. The book is such an excellent novel to read if you are like me. I miss reading novels like I use to. I guess the last time I tried reading novels the books weren't too good so I just gave up on novels and read educational books, mostly Christian books on how to live and such. Anyway, my point of this journal is to write what the book is about, because I adore it so far. Kathryn and Larson are a married couple from the 1800s. They are living in a range in the middle of nowhere, having to walk for miles upone miles if wanted to go into the nearest town. The love between this married couple is so hidden at first because Larson's life goal is to keep his range from falling apart since they are in debt with the bank and losing their workers due to not being able to pay them during the harsh seasons like winter. Like the situation isn't bad enough, Larson keeps the worst of it all from his own wife, because he feels like he needs to earn her love and loyalty. Kathryn gave up her Boston wealth and family to live almost poor on a ranch with this man. Like that isn't love and loyal enough. He is just blind. She is hurt because he doesn't talk to her much and isn't intimate enough. Worse of all, he can't give her the child that she has always dreamed of having. Basically they are at losing end. The last night Kathryn and Larson had together before he left her a note saying he left to go on a convention and will return in the week's end they were intimate and making love. Larson left and basically had the worse adventure a man in those days could ever dream about. It was dark at the camp Larson was camping and a man came up to try to steal his things, shooting his leg out of fear. Once Larson woken up he saw that the man was still there but another man shot that man. It scared Larson so he crawled and kept crawling, knowing that other man was trying to follow him, and he whole time it is pitch dark. Larson bumped into a cabin, so he crawled into it until he got to the other side, feeling safe. The man who was following him shot through the window, breaking it, then Larson felt liquid running down all over the floor of the cabin. Then it hit him, the cabin was now on fire. Larson literally was burning alive. The next time he knows he's in a black man and white woman couple's house and it has been months since the incident occurred. From then on the couple helps Larson get better so he can go home. In the process, they teach Larson some amazing things; like how a real marriage couple should be and how life isn't about being successful in a man's eyes, only in the eyes of the Lord. Larson grows more and more in love just thinking and imagining Kathryn being with him and starting over a new life together. While all that is going on for Larson, Kathryn is going through hell without Larson but she's a tough woman. All but one of Larson's workers quits their job at his ranch because hasn't been there for weeks to pay them and they have families to take care of. One stays only because Kathryn can't get past the fact that Larson may be dead so she keeps living life like he's going to return and she has to make sure the range is up and going, because that was his main goal in life and she loves him so much that she would do that, no matter how much it would take. She goes to the bank for a loan and realizes that her husband was keeping the worst debts and loans from her so her faith in keeping it was running out dry. So when hearing this she offered to help out the only man that stayed to help her on the ranch. When she did she got into a horrible accident and broke a couple of ribs and got a few bruises. When the man took her to the doc, she found out that she was three months pregnant. Talk about crazy! She had both joy yet pain because Larson finally after all of these years gave her a child, however, he doesn't know and may never return to know the child. That's how far I got into the book; I'm in the middle of Chapter 9. Gosh, I'm so going to finish this book by the end of tonight, since I'm working until 9 and the kids go to bed early; even before they go to bed, they watch kids shows and such. Anyway, will finish later.
Current Location: |
Michael's labtop |
Current Mood: |
curious |
Current Music: |
The Donnas | |
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I just woke up and it was pretty hard to do so this morning. I haven't slept that hard and that deep in a while nor dreamt of a whole dream like I did. I won't exactly go into details of the dream but it was like a thriller movie. That means I didn't like it one bit. That could have explained why I was having dificulty getting up. Anyway, to more important things. I have the most wonderful fellow a gal could ever dream of. I'm not wanting to sound all lovey-dovey right now but I must state how much I love this Michael Davenport. Last night he was asking me reassuring questions like; Do you love me? Do you love me a lot? Are you happy? Do I make you happy? Do you love me more than everyone else? Are you going to love me for a long time? Of course the answer firmly stands a Yes to every one of those questions. It's so lovely to be able to fall asleep with no worries all because he is right beside me as I'm sleeping. However, waking up when he's leaving me makes me feel like I'm going through separation anxiety. You just don't know me when I'm tired. I'm either wanting nobody to touch me or I'm clingy. I so happen to be clingy when Michael leaves me when I'm waking up to give a kiss and a hug good-bye. Once me left, I had to get to up because I had to pee like a race-horse. When I was laying in bed, half-way asleep still, I thought of something that I cannot believe I didn't think of before; I don't want to go to Centri-Kid and be a champeron for the kids at LNBC, if that means I'm gone for a whole week. I know I may sound crazy, but I am without a doubt not wanting to go anymore. Besides, it isn't like they need me nor will I not get enough experience working with elementary school kids these next two years in the teaching program. So with that said, I have to find a way to tell him and tell him why, because I know he'll ask. This is something I'm doing for myself. I don't want to leave, so I'm not going to leave. I don't care how stupid that may sound. I think what made me think about this situation is when I was grapping his shirt to wrap my arms around and bring close to my face. Childish souding again but that's become something I do now when sleeping. What's funny is that I realized I couldn't even do that when I'm away from him for a whole week. I'll be rooming with another champeron or one of the girls that go. Talk about embarressing if I even brought it with me. He-he. Well, enough about that. I'm going to get ready for the day and head out to Mooresville (Michael's parent's house). I work today at 4:30 until 9 but not with Morgan; I have this little girl about her age name Heather (which is also Morgan's mother's name) and Brandon, who is a toddler who crawls around the house. Ha-ha. I'm a bit excited about getting to see them tonight. Heather adores me. Everytime I tell her mother I would watch them, she tells me that Heather is so excited to see me now. She gives the cutest hugs when I walk through that door, like she's appreciative to have an adult friend like me. I wish Morgan was more like that. Instead, she acts like she doesn't want me around half the time, then goes see a young lady she likes at the post office and tells her that I'm her best friend. I did like hearing that, though, since I do spend a lot of my time now with her and her parents at their house. Okay, I'm gone for the day. |
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Where do I begin; I started journaling on livejournal twice in my lifetime. It was a piece of my life because I have always enjoyed putting my thoughts, feelings, and life as a whole on paper or on the computer so I can learn more about myself. A lot of the time when I write/type I don't think about what I'm saying. I keep going until I come to an end and reread what I put down. That's how I find out what my own thoughts and feelings are. Believe me, I know I'm not a simple one. Anyway, I'm starting over once again. Why? I do not know, but I figured it's a worth the shot. I do miss writing/typing. My handwritting gets very bad, so journaling in an actual journal can be a bad thing to try and figure out what I wrote. I won't try to sit here and explain my life since the last time I journaled on here because that would be way to much for one starting-over journal entry. I do however want to mention some of the highlights. I am now a college student and have been for two years now. I start in a new program at my college in the fall and that's a two-year program. Two more years won't kill me; at least I know I'm getting somewhere in my life. The program is Early Childhood's Teacher Associate Program. I will be learning this upcoming year, then the following year I will be putting what I learn into action. That's exciting to me. A lot of times I don't get excited about becoming a teacher but that's because it hasn't come together yet. Now that it will be I'm sure I'll be more excited as time goes by. I'm actually excited about starting the courses. I just told my own mother that today as a matter of fact, that I can't wait. I don't know what to do with myself not being in school this summer. My everyday life for now is getting up, going to work (taking care of a two-and-a-half-year-old) and spending a lot of time with my boyfriend, Michael. Don't get me wrong, I'm putting these daily things to use, especially in the future. He-he. That's all for now...I'll say more later. |

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